Saturday, January 26, 2013

Five

I was driving to work after my 'maternity' leave after Ronan was born and Ordinary World came on the radio. And even though I had heard this song a million times, hearing it with this fresh perspective resonated with me. I didn't know at the time what my everyday, ordinary world was going to be like now that this had happened to us. How does one move on from the grief, the pain that was so powerful that it brought me to my knees at any given moment? I can tell you now, 5 years later, that my new ordinary world has consisted of extreme scary lows, but also wonderful glimpses of kindness, honesty, and truths that I may never have seen or appreciated if I wasn't thrown into this new place. I have witnessed great love and depths of friendships that only come when your heart is exposed, raw, and eager to heal. I have learned patience and compassion that I pray I am able to pass on to others, especially the children that I am now fortunate enough to raise. As this day seems to be a reminder of what is gone, I strive daily, hell sometimes hourly, to focus my thoughts on what remains--the love that my son represented.

Happy Birthday, sweet Ronan. We miss you every day.

Ordinary World

1 comment:

Catherine W said...

Happy birthday Ronan.

I often think that the main thing that remains of our children, years later, is love. The love that we have for them, the love that awaited them. Love.

Dear Ronan. Missed and loved.