Saturday, March 27, 2010

35 is halfway to 70....




At least that's what I've been told.....

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Red Means Stop

I joined MISS over 2 years ago, and I can say that it was the beginning of the healing process after Ronan died.

I wasn't a serial commenter, but when I needed help or advice, I would post and someone would come a runnin'. It was nice to know that in a sea of computer screens, some one had my back. I still visit that site daily, as a touchstone, for guidance, and to offer advice if I can....

There are many Admin people who serve as the 'elders' of the board--Christa B. was one of them. In a parallel universe, she was my twin---science gal, same age, lots of weird coincidences. We only chatted a few times, but I saw her around all the time, holding the hands of whomever needed her. She had lost twin girls and had twin boys 1 year later (who are now 6 years old). She had married her high school sweetheart. She was making progress to defend her PhD this year....life really seemed good for her.

Last week Christa was driving near her local Kroger and got T-boned by an 81 year-old man who ran a red light. She died later that evening.

Out of all the emotions that have spilled through me this week, anger is lingering--at the fucktard old man who probably had no business driving (and survived!!!!), at the universe for fucking with a family that had already had it's share of tragedy, at the fact that she had some of the best years of her life ahead of her--what a damn waste.

But I am most angry that there are no guarantees--that we are not immune from tragedy...that there are no free passes in any stage of life...that life can be so damn unfair.

For all the things I love about life, these are the things I loathe, and continue to wrestle with until the day I perish.

God-willing it won't be while I am making a bagel run to Kroger.

In Memoriam
Christa Bowen
1975-2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sometimes....



I am reminded how fast life moves forward....

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Welcome Home!!

The lovely C welcomed her sweet girl on Monday.

The Pink Post-It list continues.....

Monday, March 1, 2010

You Don't Know My Name

Blame it on growing up, moving in different directions, being in different places----

Blame it on the ugly scar that resulted when my soul was slashed the day my son was born dead.

Blame it on the rain, or hormones, or the isolating loneliness that finds me when I least expect it.

But, I woke up this morning feeling that no one knows who I am anymore...

....least of all me.