Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am officially an Auntie. :)

Baby C came into the world just after midnight on the 23rd. She was 6lbs 6oz, 20.5 inches. Everyone is doing well.

I have learned that I am a master at the art of disassociation. Holding other children, helping friends through labor and pregnancy---I find that very little reminds me about Ronan or the birth of Ronan. I am able to be in that moment, the moment of joy that comes when a new life is brought into this world. A moment when new parents are so excited to finally hold their new bundle of joy. A moment where grandparents hold the baby and make funny voices/noises to them. The moment of pure hope and love.

And I am truly thankful for that. It makes me hope that I will become less jaded with time.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and yours!


Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Final Countdown

My SIL thinks she is labor tonight. She is 39+ weeks, officially due on Friday.

P and I have been sick for the better part of 3 weeks. I keep praying that I wake up in the morning without coughing up my lungs/blowing green gunk into 400 tissues/swallowing more Dayquil horse pills so that I can make it into crappy work.

We are under contract for a house in Ohio. Part of me can't really believe I have been so low-key about it. I think HGTV has jaded me. It's a nice house. Has a lot of nice things about it, including a park nearby for the girl AND it's a mere 7 minutes from work. Part of the charm of the house is that the same couple has lived in it since right before P and I were born. They raised three babies there. They hosted parties there. They had their grandbabies sleep over there. Now they are sick of the cold and want to move to Florida. I feel like they are passing on their home to us to take care of it--to make our own memories there now. It's kinda nice.

We are in a real bittersweet moment in our lives here. Thanksgiving is around the corner. Then Christmas. Then the girl's birthday. Then Ronan's birthday. A month after that, we pack up and head North.

I vividly remember when we left for Michigan. It was June of 1999. My dad had driven up to help drive the U-haul. P and I had been dating 2 years, and our entire lives up until that moment, was in Texas. Our friends saw us off at a local burger joint the night before we left. My BFF Chris had tears in his eyes when we said goodbye. We stayed overnight at P's parent's house before we took off early the next morning. I cried myself to sleep that night, because leaving was so scary, yet exciting. How easy it would have been to just stay and go to grad school here in town. To do what was easy. The drive to Michigan took 2.5 days. We arrived on a Friday afternoon. It was 70 degrees--cold! compared to what we were used to for June. My Dad flew back the next day. P and I got lost coming back from the airport.

We were waxing philosophical over coffee in Ohio a few weeks ago. Part of the pain of our memories in MI were because I was in grad school. We were broke. Everything was fucking expensive. Everything was unbelievably hard. But now, I have a proper job. We have money. We (almost) have a house. Life is monumentally different than the time we took this voyage 11 years before. I find myself getting excited about the endeavor. I imagined Radha in the seasons---playing in the Fall leaves, making a snowman. And it was just such a nice feeling.

Yet tonight we walked into another local burger joint. The burger joint where my BFF introduced me to his new (and pregnant) wife 2.5 years ago. The joint where we went monthly while I was pregnant with Radha, where we brought her monthly after she was born. The staff fawns over her. They call her 'Angel'. Tonight she played with all the booster seats as I placed them on the floor in a nice little circle--the Knights of the Booster Seat Circle. As she sat in all of them, one by one, I heard P say "I'm going to miss this place."

And the familiar feeling comes over me. Our lives are here. I could do what was easy. I could try to stay.

But then I remember all the good friends and times that I had in Michigan, and it is enough to remind me that there are other adventures to be discovered, other joints to call home, other friends to meet and make memories with.

And I can't hardly wait.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Happy Fall

I hope you all have the chance to stop and smell the 'roses'. :)